Making a Bridezilla
A Guide on How to Make a Bridezilla by Shane Rhoden
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Ok, let's get this out of the way. Groomzillas are a real thing, and in my experience just as frequently seen as bridezillas.
In my fifteen years of photographing weddings, I've seen many breakdowns. I've seen brides drop their stuff and quit in the middle of a wedding, grooms rage at guests and threaten physical violence and fights break out. People have thrown up, passed out and even stripped. I wish I could say I was aghast, but at this point, I've learned these breakdowns are a part of the territory. They do, however, make an excellent time to change socks and have a snack.
Gift a couple who has little to no experience managing large projects with a due date and no instruction
One of the best ways to increase stress is to overflow an individual with a to-do list. Weddings, especially big weddings, are a lot like mountains. Most people do not train themselves to calculate their rate of climb and also maintain that climb rate. They stare at the mountain top and see the tasks that loom over them which causes a snowball of stress.
Wedding planners are a great addition to have if you can fit it into your budget. Be warned - if you pick the wrong one, they will cause you even more stress. If you pick the right one, they'll make your life easier. If you have a job that pays well, and planning a wedding would take away from your performance, you will want to delegate the planning process as much as you can. Hire someone to plan, decorate, and set up all of the meetings you'll need to attend to make key decisions. If you have time on your hands to plan the wedding, start with a comprehensive to-do list, get your key players involved, assign those tasks to each player and execute. You'll be tempted to make the list small, but you need to list everything that needs to be done and set a due date. Goals without a due date are not real goals. Don't forget to add some margin to that due date; rarely does anything go as planned.
Do you need help dealing with your stress? Check out Dr. John Delony's book: Redefining Anxiety: What It Is, What It Isn't, and How to Get Your Life Back
Increase debt and stretch limited resources
If you want to create as much financial stress as possible, spend money that is not truly available. What you want for your wedding may not be what you can afford for your wedding. As the saying goes, “Don’t borrow from Peter to pay Paul.” Taking from one source that are not true funds only increases your debt. You will find that the debt will grow as you move from one financial fire to another; this causes an extreme financial burden and insurmountable stress.
If you are having a hard time managing your existing debt and you have little to no emergency fund, you may want to consider going to the Justice of the Peace. I understand there is social pressure to have a “normal” wedding. However, if there isn’t someone who is going to pay for nearly all of it, it won't be a blessing. There is no amount of social prestige or “making that dream wedding come true” that will be worth the following years of financial hell. Dealing with financial debt from your wedding on top of learning to facilitate a functional marriage is something many people do not talk about. Unfortunately, it’s a reality that you may face if you do not consider this in the beginning of your wedding plans.
Take a struggling person and dump a huge project on them
If you want to try to separate a couple, all you need to do is harass one or both individuals for months. Make sure they bottle up their emotions, get to a point where they feel like they can't take it anymore and then dump a huge project on their lap. You know, like a wedding.
Many people, even people who seem to be successful, have unresolved trauma in their hearts. Under non-stressful conditions they can be good at hiding the hurt caused by the trauma. However, when a big stressful project like a wedding is introduced, they have a difficult time hiding trauma. Have you ever seen a couple fall apart between the time they got engaged and the wedding? Sometimes the stresses of a wedding can cause strife in relationship, which in turn causes the relationship to cease. It’s important to be very aware of your personality and habits when you are in extremely stressful situations, so that you do not shed that onto others.
With almost all trades, one of the most critical parts to success is the prep work. If you make sure your tools are ready to use, the bumps are sanded down, and everything is taped off, it's likely you'll end up with a beautiful final product. Weddings are no different, friend. Before you start to plan your big day, take a moment to evaluate your emotional, financial, and relational status. This will be a good indicator as to what size of a wedding to have, or if you should have one at all.
Remember that weddings are meant to be fun, not stressful. Though they have moments of urgency, you must choose to stay positive and enjoy the ride!